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| Oh My God, They're Everywhere! |
| 06.22.04 (10:27 am) [edit] |
I just love it when the right-wingers feel the need to call into real talk shows like the ones on Wisconsin Public Radio. It is even better when one of the God Squad calls in, even if they are scary. Very scary.
A recent show was discussing a poll that showed that a majority of people think that our country is headed in the wrong direction. Not exactly a controversial subject, or even news. I was a bit taken aback however, when a women called in all flustered and wanted to know how the country could be headed in the wrong direction when the previous President was "getting blowjobs in the Oval Office"? And this from a God Squadder! I swear I am not making this up. The woman went on to assert that the result of this depraved behavior was that this form of sexual activity was now the most popular among high school students. In fact, she went on, "students don't consider that to be sex" at all! My God, where to even begin?
First of all, wasn't Howard Stern fined for using phrases less delicate than "blowjob?" Even the media jackals preferred the at once more genteel and more descriptive "oral sex" at the height of Monicamania. You gotta love a phrase that is at once more graphic and more polite. Sometimes English is so wonderful! The only problem with "oral sex" (the phrase, not the act...) is that it swings both ways. The word that should have been used is the more techical "fellatio." Obviously she wasn't a Catholic God-squadder: otherwise she would have known her Latin.
But laying aside the woman's crude language, did Bill Clinton cause an outbreak of oral sex among teenagers? I rather doubt it, but to be quite frank (as if this isn't frank enough already) it is impossible to tell. Trying to determine the sexual behaviors of ordinary people is notoriously difficult. People for the most part do not talk much about their sexual behavior and when they do, they tend to lie like cheap rugs. Even the major surveys which have tried to get a handle on people's sexual activity (Kinsey, Masters and Johnson) have been derided because of poor sampling or the biases of the authors. The bottom line is, other than counting children, we have no good way of determining how many times anyone does anything behind closed doors.
For example, in researching this essay I found an author who stated that "oral sex" was pretty much unknown in his high school. He went to high school in the 60's in England. Maybe he is right. Or maybe he just wasn't getting any. Personally, I went to high school in the 70's in the US; first on the liberal east coast, then finishing in the more conservative west. In both places -- yes even at the Catholic schools I attended -- students were sexually active. Stop the presses! And even then, many students engaged in heavy petting and oral sex. And do you know what we called those students? Every Friday night for a date! No, just kidding there. We called them "technical virgins." Perhaps Bill Clinton learned this defense in high school rather than teaching teens anything new.
Now I am not condoning sexual activity in high school, nor am I condeming it. It just is. Let's face it, in earlier times, 15 and 16 year olds were getting married. Then 18 looked about right, now 22 or even 25 seems like the right age to marry. That's a long time with a lot of hormones flowing around the bloodstream. We have as much chance of stamping out teen sexuality as we do teen drinking. That is to say, zero.
If you can't get rid of a behavior that potentially has negative consequences, you at least have to limit the damage. And as we saw it then, and I would argue it is still true, there is a certain logic to "technical virginity." First and foremost, it does reduce pregnancy! Sexually transmitted diseases might still be possible, but people can be careful. And you still have that "special gift" for your wedding night. OK, Miss God Squad might freak out with this analysis, but she is the one who said "blowjob," not me.
And while Miss God Squad is having her conniption fit, there is one other minor detail that I feel needs to be corrected. There is no way, I repeat, no way, that oral sex is the most common form of sexual activity among teens. What is? OK, everyone say it with me -- "masturbation!" Let's face it, oral sex is a team sport and in high school, teams usually only play once or twice a week. But they can practice everyday! OK, maybe several times a day. OK, maybe after every class period. Especially the ones where the rows face each other and you can look up the girls...ooops, was that out loud?
So, are teens more sexually immoral than those of 50 years ago? Maybe, but I doubt it. In the golden age of the 50's it has been said that 25% percent of brides were already pregnant. I am going to guess that another 25% were darn lucky. Perhaps some of the remaining half were "technical virgins." And, as you may have noticed, the word "fellatio" is Latin. Yes, the Romans -- and the Greeks -- figured out how to do this. Apparently quite frequently considering the number of authors who mention it. In fact It would not surprise me in the slightest if at some point Adam said to Eve "Please do it! I ate the apple for you!"
Those clever French, who were similarly blamed for an outbreak of fellatio in the US after World War II, say "The more things change, the more they stay the same." And when it comes to sex, they are probably more right than ever. While I will admit that the information age may affect them number of people who engage in some behavior or another, it does not affect whether or not humankind will discover a new behavior. People have pretty much discovered every sexual thrill (or perversion, you decide) already. And once discovered they will be practiced -- perhaps some more frequently than others. Why can't sex have fads like clothing or music?
The sexual behavior of the people of this country is safely in their own hand, so stop blaming Bill Clinton already.
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posted by: lauri (reply)
post date: 06.27.04 (11:37 am)
well said... bravo.... it is about time someone said this .
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